It's been awhile.

School first. In many ways, it's completely different then homeschooling. But in many other ways, it is exactly the same. In either situation, one has to apply his or herself and work hard to succeed. In both scenarios, I'm learning pretty much the same stuff. It's just in a different environment.

That environment is what makes it completely different. Instead of working by myself or with siblings, I'm mixed with a very diverse population of students. For example, Driver Theory is a required class, which means that it includes those who want to be there and those who couldn't care less. In Honors English, as well as Statistics, my classmates are the brightest in my grade.
But even with all of the different types of students, if I treat others with respect, they tend to do the same. I don't really have problems getting along with other students.

Although, as a precaution the first day, just to keep life drama-free, I stated that "teen dating is a complete and utter waste of time." It's not really a fair claim to make, but it's proven quite successful in keeping girls away. :P

I'm proud to say that 1 John 4:4 ("Greater is He who is within you...") has proven true. I've held my ground. As far as influencing others, I think I've been somewhat successful, but not nearly as much as I'd like to. Part of it has been that it has taken some time to form relationships - but even considering that, I think I can be doing more to positively influence those around me. God has an assignment for me every day, I believe, but I think the number of times I've actually picked up on the opportunities less then fifteen.

Surprisingly, I've found that there is a large number of churched kids there. Unfortunately, going to church does not equal following Christ; and telling the difference is difficult when both blend together. The Bible Club is pretty dead - I don't doubt that there are some legitimate Christians there, but each meeting seems to be a religious routine. The club lacks depth and half of the members lack a desire to serve God. I struggle between wanting to get out of the club and trying to find a way to ignite them with a fire for God.

Sometimes I wonder if there are others who feel the same thing I do. I wonder if there are those that, just like myself, have a desire to change the school for God but hold back from talking about it. I have identified a handful of Christians who I believe just need some encouragement and leadership - a spark - to ignite them. Fellow soldiers who just don't know it yet. The trick is seeking God to find out how just to go about doing that.

Educationally, school isn't bad. Most of my teachers are good, and I feel I'm being challenged much more then last year in PACyber. But I also regret taking half College Prep classes instead of all Honors. Despite what is sounds like, CP is in no way difficult. Also, I have hardly learned anything new in Spanish. I fear I'm going to lose the language before I can get to college and learn from a good teacher and with kids who want to learn the language. On the flipside, my math teacher is excellent. I also really enjoy woodworking - that's one of the classes I wish I could have had earlier on in high school. Overall though, school is going well, and I'm glad I am here.

My last update also mentioned my sister leaving, along with my best friends tentatively moving.

Without Beth around, the family always seems incomplete. I miss her. Very much. *sigh*

On the bright side, however, I'm glad to say that my friends are still in PA - a fact that keeps me looking forward to each weekend when I can see them. I'm very thankful to God that He has allowed them to continue to be apart of my life.

Perhaps on a similar note, it's worth noting that taking my own "teen dating" advice can be difficult at times. I'll admit I do have feelings for an aforementioned friend, but I know that now is not God's timing for me to be in a relationship. This clash of teenage emotions with my desire to honor God is an unpleasant feeling; but the latter desire trump the former emotions. I want to God's plan for me, and I don't want to jump the gun - so to speak. I hold on to Proverbs 3:5-6:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.


Catching up on a few other updates, I'm am:
-putting in an application to Rutter's
-lifting for next season
-working on redesigning my website
-in the early stages of designing a website for Adams County Action
-hoping to get my license before June - something that is contingent on me having a steady job (thus the Rutter's application)
-eager for the Gathering this June (thus the desire to get my license)
-really liking the band Tenth Avenue North


...and I am looking forward to what ever God has in store for the coming year, be it pleasant, unpleasant, or whatever, I know He uses it for my own good.

I leave you with an excerpt from Hebrews.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
[...]
Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.

Grace be with all of you.

-Ben

Class Schedule

Well, incase anyone is interested, here are my classes (in order by period) for school this year. Starts Wednesday.
[Period number in brackets. If a number repeats, then the class alternates with the others.]
CP = College Prep
H = Honors

• [1] US History CP
  
• [2] English 11 H
  
• [3] Technology Ed
  
• [4] Health 11
• [4] Phys Ed
• [4] Study Hall
• [5-6] Spanish III
• [7] Lunch
• [8-9] Statistics H
• [10] Chemistry CP
• [11] Driver Theory
• [11] Study Hall
• [12] Homeroom

So...there it is. :)

The calm before the storm...

[phew! this is a long one!]

It seems like just a few weeks ago, school was out and I had a full summer ahead of me. But now, it's only a week until football camp starts; I feel like either the breathe before the plunge, or the calm before the storm - take your pick.

This summer has been kind of bittersweet for me. Not because anything bad has happened, but because it might be the last summer of its kind. This next school year is going to be a lot different for me.

This coming school year I'll be going to the public school 'round here. It's actually a pretty decent school as far as public education goes. There are several reasons behind the decision: First - ever since my family moved last year, I've had this feeling (I believe the Holy Spirit) that I should go to the school the next year (which would be this year). I wasn't sure what to do about it, so I just prayed that if it was God's will, He would make it happen. At that time, the plan was to enroll in PACYBER's early college program and take college courses my junior and senior year.

But early this spring, the early college program was discontinued. It was primarily an act by the PA board of education to try to put cyber schools out of business - they decided that because not all schools offered early college programs, it wasn't fair for cyber schools to do so. (>.>) PACYBER did find another way to do it...but it's limited to one college class per semester instead of the normal 10 credits it was before.

Only 1 college class really made PACYBER a whole lot less attractive. I would have to take their normal classes for nearly all my courses. Something I wouldn't be all too happy about. Last year the transition from homeschooling to cyberschool was easy. Too easy. The only real difficult class I had was Pre-Calc - but my teacher was so terrible (class would have averaged a failing grade were it not for the easy extra credit assignments she kept giving us) that I'm not sure if I'll be ready to take Calc next year. I only had 5 classes; this is because my IS (instructional supervisor) thought taking more might be too hard for me (lol...my freshman year homeschooling, I took 7 classes, was on a lego robotics team, and played football. 5 classes is cake).

So from an educational standpoint, with no good co-ops around for math, and cyber school being so limited, public school seems to be the best option. But also, I'm not just going for education...I want God to use me there. Homeschooling(/cyberschool) seems so limited in actually reaching out to my peers. I have this passion in me to see kids' lives transformed by God's amazing love; but being at home all day, I didn't see that many people on a daily bases.

Yet, the thought of going to public school is also terrifying. I'll no longer be in the protection of my home. What if the work load is too much for me (especially in math)? What if I'm not the one who's influencing my peers, but they are influencing me? or what if I'm completely missing God's voice and this is all a mistake? Those are some of the thoughts and doubts that creep in every now and again.

But I think those thoughts are a healthy dose of encouragement to stay close to God and not let things come in between us. The future always has an uncertainty about it - but God is bigger than anything that can happen. And isn't He who is within me greater than he who is in the world? What do I have to fear?

I guess this where the rubber meets the road. Is my faith just a bunch of talk, or is it real? I suppose this is what having faith is all about. Trusting God outside of my comfort zone. It almost feels like jumping off a cliff, praying God will pull through and be there to catch me. It's rather terrifying, but it's also completely awesome. I know God will be there - even if things don't meet my expectations, God promises never to leave or forsake me.

But as big of a change as that will be, it's not all that could change this school year. My sister is going on a year long discipleship school (Honor Academy with Teen Mania), and she leaves in two weeks (Aug 16). I'm going to really miss her. *sigh* It will be so different with her gone. =/

And if Beth leaving isn't enough, my best friends (and I use that term very sparingly) are likely to be moving to Tennessee in the not-so-distant future. Counting Beth, it would be like 9 siblings moving away. So far I've been pushing the thought to the deepest corner of my mind, hoping it will just disappear. But if it doesn't.... well, that really would not be cool.

I know God will work everything out for the good; but that doesn't change that I'll miss them like crazy. And if ya'll are reading this: I love you guys! :)

That about sums up life for me right now. If you have time, I could always use some prayer...and the students at my school. Pray for God to send a revival to the Christians in that school that will then overflow to everyone else. And also, for my friends; that God would guide them and give them wisdom - and that even if times to get tough for them, they would always know God's love through it all.


So... like I said, this summer could be the last of its kind. My sister won't be here next summer, and tentatively, neither will my best friends. The summer after that, my other sister could be going to the Airforce Academy next year. And this next week will be the calm before the storm (or was it the breathe before the plunge?)....once football camp starts, I'll be kept pretty busy right up into the start of school. I probably won't be online much during that time, but if you need to get in contact with me, email or phone would be the best way as I will check both daily. And if you've made it this far in the post, high-five!

I'll end with this:

Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: "They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one." None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing--nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable--absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. Rom 8:35-39

I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward--to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision--you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it. Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. (Philippians 3; MSG)

Dive deep...Elyon's strength!

-Ben

Awesome video

Check this!



I've read the book. It's amazing.

Sinner, by Ted Dekker.

Ted Dekker Interview - Adam

So...sometimes it's good to let things out

...instead of keeping it all trapped in that head of mine.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
"I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Yeah, so sometimes what God has promised (both in Scripture and what I believe He has spoken) just doesn't seem to be reality to my little human brain. And as of late, I think I have taken note of that, and without knowing, taken on the feeling of being forsaken and left on my own by God. By human eyes, one might say I had every right; but that just isn't so.
To give a bit of background... let's see (condensed version), 4 or 5 years ago, my dad's company lost it's biggest contract to China. -ah...wait, no, first, my dad gave control of the company to God- then, things looked bright when my dad met a Christian business man on a missions trip type thing who wanted to order these DVR systems. So the dude gave my dad's company this million dollar order. So we bought all the inventory to make it, but then it turned out the guy didn't have any money to pay for it, so that left us with a whole bunch of debt and useless inventory..but slowly but surely, the company was getting better. Then their biggest customer after that halted all their orders and owed us like 100k. So that wasn't cool. and yeah, and then recently it looked like things would get better again...but then I realized they weren't, and kind of got a little mad.

Slowly, the past few weeks/month my quiet time kind of dwindled. I got tired of it all..I decided to stop for a bit.
...not a good idea. Things just aren't as enjoyable when you try to go solo.

In reality, God has taken very good care of us, despite all that's happened, we've had all we need and then some.
Plus, had this not happened, I don't know that I would have learned to rely on God. It is an amazing to be so close to Him and to have peace to trust Him, knowing everything will be all right.

God is good. His ways are perfect. I understand in Job, the passage: "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him."

In fact, looking back the past 5 years or so, I'm glad it all has happened. I wouldn't have it any other way. God knows what He's doing, even though I do not.

how to hide comments on myspace...

So, my comments space on my myspace was getting long, so I decided to hide it. Instead of doing it on my own, I just decided to find a code to c/p into my profile to hide it. It appears this is the norm to use:

<div style="border: 0px none ; overflow: hidden; position: relative; height: 400px;"><table><tbody><tr><td><table><tbody><tr><td>

I don't like this method, it's dirty coding, and it messes up the page....so instead I came up with my own much simpler method:

<style type="text/css">.friendsComments {visibility:hidden;display:none;}</style>

But now that I check again, I see one site already had the css way to do it. But they fail to use both visibility and display. And it's much longer, they do it individually for the tds and trs. Why not just do it for the whole darn section? oh well.

So I guess I'm not the only one who figured out the css method, lol. Here I thought I had found something new.

BTW, this code goes in your profile, any of the boxes (about me, heroes, who I'd like to meet, etc.) will work.

And as my sister pointed out, if you do this, you have to add a comment box or a link so people can leave comments


Code for a comment box:

<span style="color:FFFFFF;">Add Comment</span>

<form method="post" action="http://comments.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.ConfirmComment">

<input name="friendID" value="" type="hidden">

<!-- *********************************

Your friend ID goes inside the value="" quotes above.

Like this: value="0000000"

********************************** -->

<textarea name="f_comments" style="background-color:black;border-color:white;border-width:1px;border-style:solid;color:white;font-family:arial;">

</textarea>

<br />

<input type="submit" value="Send" style="background-color:black;border-color:white;border-width:1px;border-style:solid;color:white;font-family:arial;">

</form>

This will display as:

Add Comment

Or you can just put a direct link:

<a href="http://comment.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile_commentForm&friendID=">Add Comment</a>

...and be sure to put your friend ID where it says friendID= in the URL. Such as 'friendID=0000000'

It will show up as:

Add Comment